5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Was A Senior
A heartfelt piece written by our very own, Sasha Grossman.
Hi! My name is Sasha, and I’m a…senior in Kappa Delta. I hate the word senior's connotation; I’ve loved my college experience, and the thought of it coming to an end is discomforting...the person I am today has changed a lot since the Fall of 2017. At times I look back and wish I had handled situations differently, expressed my sentiments more clearly, or simply had someone screaming into my ear: “STOP!” Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve...too late now. It’s not that I have many regrets, but I’ve thought deeply about the most important lessons I’ve learned, and here are a few I wish someone had told me before I was a senior.
It’s OKAY To Be Alone
Freshman year, the thought of sitting alone in a dining hall: terrifying. 2020: the idea of being alone during quarantine... nauseating. I think that there is a perceived sense of “aloneness,” which connotes that you aren’t able to engage with others actively, socially, or feel anxious at the thought of putting yourself out there. I think that this is a common shared thought by so many people our age...why would you want to spend time alone? I wish I knew that being alone can sometimes be one of the best practices for growth; it’s become one of the most beautiful things I’ve learned to enjoy. Learning how to be alone has allowed me to create a relationship with myself and learn to feel confident in my convictions of what matters most to me without feeling swayed by others' thoughts, opinions, and morals. The most significant takeaway from this for me: you can’t have a healthy relationship with others until you learn to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
Call Your Parents
Highschool Sasha would have shuddered at the thought! As a senior in high school, all my older friends recanted the most wonderful and
intriguing stories of their weekend tailgates, new friends, and crazy adventures college brought them. Why didn’t anyone tell me college would suck sometimes? It can be a hard transition...and it’s hard to reveal to your new friends that you’re not “having the time of your life.” Call your parents. They want to hear from you. They are there for you. Of the many relationships I’ve built in college, I never would have expected the friendship and stronger connection I’ve built with my parents since going away. Maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder?
Positivity Can Be Toxic
I had never been familiar with the phrase “toxic positivity” until I read what it was. I’d always seen myself as someone who dealt with their problems by trying to see things in a better light or trying to find the good in a negative situation. “Look for the silver lining,” I’d say. “Everything happens for a reason,” I’d think to myself. Sometimes there is literally no silver lining. The denial and minimization of depressing thoughts and experiences by means of “trying to stay positive” will never be effective. While I think it’s admirable to try and always maintain a good attitude, it’s exhausting. Constantly telling yourself that you are “fine” can be debilitating for mental health. Acknowledging sadness is healthy. Anxiety is normal. It’s okay to admit that positivity can be toxic.
There’s Nothing Wrong With The Word “No”
One of the most significant quotes I’ve tried to integrate into my mindset is “Excuses sound best to the person making them.” I used to be so scared of the word “no.” Whether you’re asking a new friend to hang out, a professor for an opportunity, or a company for an interview, the worst thing they can tell you is NO. It’s not as bad as it seems. So far in these past four years, I’ve been the only person making excuses for myself when I’m too scared of the word no; people will remember you making an effort, and soon enough, you’ll finally get that “yes.”
Don’t Wish Away The Mondays
How many times have you heard yourself saying, “I wish it were Friday,” “I wish I was 21”, or “I wish we could skip to spring break?” Stop wishing away every day, because soon enough, you’ll be hoping you could go back. Some of my best moments have been on Tuesdays at 3 pm. Embrace your minutes, your mornings, your hard days, and your easy ones. The best gift my friends have given me is their time, and I wish that I learned to embrace more of it in the moment. Before I knew it, I was a second semester senior in college, wishing that I could relive every Monday in college I’ve had so that I could have more time.
Contact Sister Sasha…
@Sngrossmann on Instagram